When it's this cold out, simply saying "it's cold" is the ultimate understatement. Frigid, stupid chilly, gelidity, deep freezer, the Most Not-Warm Day Ever, etc. are better descriptors, but still don't get the whole "I'm freezing my identity off" conditions across. I often jokingly tell the kids "don't stick your tongue on anything metal today!" (we love A Christmas Story!). Having grown up in a home with metal ice cubes trays in the freezer, I know the hazard and bizarre circumstance of having a body part frozen to an inanimate object. Funny at first, but then "ou-ouch." And your instinct to pull away quickly - NOT GOOD.
But it looks as though not everyone recognizes the danger: Triple Dog Dare Snares Another
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